(Subject to Revision after the Vacation)
Question. What is meant by the promotion of a company?
Answer. The process of separating capital from its possessor.
Q. How is this end accomplished?
A. By the preparation and publication of a prospectus.
Q. Of what does a prospectus consist?
A. A front page and a statement of facts.
A. The bait covering the hook, the lane leading to the pitfall, the lath concealing the quagmire--occasionally.
Q. Of what is a front page composed?
A. Titles, and other suggestions of respectability.
Q. How are these suggestions obtained?
A. In the customary fashion.
Q. Can a banking account be put to any particular service in the promotion of a company?
A. Certainly; it eases the wheels in all directions.
Q. Can it obtain the good-will of the Press?
A. Only of questionable and usually short-lived periodicals.
Q. But the destination of the cash scarcely affects the promoter?
A. No; for he loses in any case.
Q. How much of his profits does he sometimes have to disgorge?
A. According to circumstances, from three-fifths to nineteen-twentieths of his easily-secured takings.
Q. And what does promotion do for the promoter?
A. It usually bestows upon him temporary prosperity.
Q. Why do you say "temporary"?
A. Because a pleasant present is frequently followed by a disastrous future.
Q. You mean, then, that this prosperity is like the companies promoted, "limited"?
A. Yes, by the Court of Bankruptcy.
Brown. "Mornin'. Fresh mornin', ain't it?"
Smith. "'Course it is. Every morning's a fresh morning! By-bye!"
[Brown's temper all day is quite unbearable.
ADVERTISEMENT PERVERSIONS (By Dumb-Crambo, Junior)
RIVER STYX.--"The thousand masts of Thames."
THE MAN WE SHOULD LIKE TO SEND TO A SEANCE.--The man who knows how to hit the happy medium.
APPROPRIATE LOCALE FOR THE DAIRY SHOW.--Chalk Farm.
A TIDY DROP.--A glass of spirits, neat.
LORD MAYOR'S SHOW AS IT OUGHT TO BE
Designed by Mr. Punch's Special Processionist
"'Nuts for the monkeys, sir? Buy a bag o' nuts for the monkeys!"
"I'm not going to the Zoo."
"Ah, well, sir, have some to take home to the children!"]
Country Cousin. "What is the meaning of this, policeman?"
Constable. "Labour day, miss."]
QUIDDITIES.--For the Old Ladies. A tea-party without scandal is like a knife without a handle.
Words without deeds are like the husks without the seeds.
Features without grace are like a clock without a face.
A land without the laws is like a cat without her claws.
Life without cheer is like a cellar without beer.
A master without a cane is like a rider without the rein.
Marriage without means is like a horse without his beans.
A man without a wife is like a fork without a knife.
A quarrel without fighting is like thunder without lightning.
MOTTO FOR A SELF-MADE AND SUCCESSFUL MONEY-LENDER.--"A loan I did it!"
IMPROPER EXPRESSION.--Let it never be said, that when a man jumps for joy, "his delight knows no bounds."
THE opposite to a tea-fight--A coffee-mill.
THE TIP-CAT SEASON HAS NOW COMMENCED
Street Urchin. "Now then, old 'un----Fore!"
