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Mr. Punch's Book of Sport 52Amusements for Ascot

18

Literature · Humor

Mr. Punch's Book of Sport 52

Amusements for Ascot

AnonymousEnglish
(Provided for the better sex)
After taking infinite trouble to secure a dream of a dress, to wait expectantly to see whether it will rain or keep up.
After arriving on the course to find one's only duchess monopolised by the Buckingham-Browns, to dismay of all semi-outsiders.
Between the races to notice one's hated rivals in the sacred enclosure, to which one has no admittance.
At luncheon, to contrast the men of this year who have remained at home with those of last season who are now at the front.
And--perhaps safest of all--to leave the doubts and fears, the heart-burnings and disappointment of the meeting to others, and to learn all about Ascot by reading the papers.
"NON EST INVENTUS"
(A Derby Problem.)
Ostler (on the Downs, after the races). "Don't you even remember 'is colour, guv'nor?"]
THE PREVAILING PASSION.--Father (reading newspaper). I see another Rugby man has been appointed Archbishop of Canterbury. That's the third Rugby man in succession.
Son (a football enthusiast). Well, I think it is time one of the Association had a turn.

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Mr. Punch's Book of Sport 51
Sources & credits: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mr. Punch's Book of Sport (Anonymous) (author lived 1871–1949). Public Domain. Anonymous, Mr. Punch's Book of Sport; public domain in the US; text from Project Gutenberg #43355. Source