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Mr. Punch's Book of Sport 31A Polonaise

18

Literature · Humor

Mr. Punch's Book of Sport 31

A Polonaise

AnonymousEnglish
"Nemo me on pony lacessit."
Mad bards, I hear, have gaily trolled The boundless joys of cricket; Have praised the bowler and the bowled And keeper of the wicket. I cannot join their merry song-- Non valeo sed volo-- But really I can come out strong, Whene'er I sing of Polo!
Let golfophiles delight to air Their putter-niblick learning; And, scarlet-coated, swipe and swear When summer sun is burning! Let artful cards sit up and pass Their nights in playing bolo; But let me gambol--o'er the grass-- And make my game at Polo!
On chequered chess-boards students gaze O'er futile moves oft grieving; With knights content to pass their days, And constant checks receiving. 'Mid kings and queens I have no place, Espiscopari nolo-- I'd rather o'er the greensward race, And find no check in Polo!
Then let me have my supple steed-- Good-tempered, uncomplaining-- So sure of foot, so rare in speed, In perfect polo training. And let me toast in rare old port, In Heidsieck or Barolo, In shady-gaff or something short-- The keen delights of Polo!
MOTTO FOR CROQUET.--"She Stoops to Conquer."
IN-DOOR AMUSEMENT FOR OLD PEOPLE.--The game of croakey.
HOW TO LEARN TO LOVE YOUR ENEMIES.--Play at croquet.
FOR THE DRAWING-ROOM (When there's a dead silence.)--My first is a bird; my second's a letter of the alphabet: my whole is some game.
Explanation. Crow. K. (Croquet.)
A PLAYER who sprained his wrist at lawn-tennis explained that "he had been trying a regular wrenchaw, and did it effectually."

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Mr. Punch's Book of Sport 30Mr. Punch's Book of Sport 32
Sources & credits: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mr. Punch's Book of Sport (Anonymous) (author lived 1871–1949). Public Domain. Anonymous, Mr. Punch's Book of Sport; public domain in the US; text from Project Gutenberg #43355. Source

Literature · Humor

Mr. Punch's Book of Sport 32

AnonymousEnglish