Mr. Punch's After-Dinner Stories 38Spring-Cleaning
18
Literature · Humor
Mr. Punch's After-Dinner Stories 38
Spring-Cleaning
AnonymousEnglish
"In Spring when woods are getting green,"
My wife begins the house to clean,
And I am driven from this scene,
Of scrub-land.
The mops and pails left on the stairs
I come across, quite unawares,
And break my shins and utter--prayers,
For tub-land.
In clouds of dust I choke and cough,
Such draughts! My hat I dare not doff,
I'd go (if I were not a toff)
To pub-land.
But--mum--I won't kick up a shine
Nor of delight give any sign,
But, quietly, I'm off to dine
In Club-land.
A SOAKER'S PARADISE.--Dropmore.
A MONSTER MEETING.--A giant and a dwarf.
POETICAL LICENCE.--A music-hall's.
TURF REFORM.--Mowing the lawn.
Adolphus (grandly; he is giving his future brother-in-law a little dinner down the river). "Waitar--you can--ah--leave us!"
Old Waiter. "Hem!--yessir--but--you'll pard'n me, sir--we've so many gents--'don't wish to impute nothink, sir--but master--'fact is, sir--(evidently feels a delicacy about mentioning it)--we're--you see, sir--'sponsible for the plate, sir!!!"
