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Literature · Humor

Mr. Punch's After-Dinner Stories 13Infinitive

18

Literature · Humor

Mr. Punch's After-Dinner Stories 13

Infinitive

AnonymousEnglish
Present: To split. Past: To have been a party.
AFTER-DINNER CONSIDERATION.--"Hippopotamuses" is a better test-word of fitness for joining the ladies than "British Constitution."
DISCUSSING AN ABSENT FRIEND
"Yes, Robinson's a clever feller, and he's a modest feller, and he's a honest feller; but, betwixt you and I and the post, Mr. Jones," said Brown, confidentially, picking his wisdom tooth with his little finger nail, "Robinson ain't got neither the looks, nor yet the language, nor yet the manners of a gentleman!"
"Right you are, sir!" said Jones, shovelling the melted remains of his ice pudding into his mouth with a steel knife (which he afterwards wiped on the tablecloth). "You've 'it 'im orf to a T!"]
First Convivial. "'Sh two o'clock! Wha'll er misshus shay?"
Second Convivial. "Thash allri'! Shay you bin wi' me--(hic)!"
"IN CONFIDENCE"
Dining-room, Apelles Club
Diner. "Thomson, do the members ask for this wine?"
Head Waiter (sotto voce). "Not twice, sir!"]

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Mr. Punch's After-Dinner Stories 12Mr. Punch's After-Dinner Stories 14
Sources & credits: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mr. Punch's After-Dinner Stories (Anonymous) (author lived 1871–1949). Public Domain. Anonymous, Mr. Punch's After-Dinner Stories; public domain in the US; text from Project Gutenberg #33824. Source

Literature · Humor

Mr. Punch's After-Dinner Stories 14

AnonymousEnglish