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Literature · Humor

Mr. Punch Awheel 20Wake Up, England!

18

Literature · Humor

Mr. Punch Awheel 20

Wake Up, England!

AnonymousEnglish
["British lady motor-drivers," says Motoring Illustrated, "must look to their laurels. Miss Rosamund Dixey, of Boston, U.S.A., invariably has her sweet, pet, fat, white pig sitting up beside her in the front of her motor car."]
We are losing our great reputation Our women are not up-to-date; For a younger, more go-a-head nation Has beaten us badly of late; Is there nowhere some fair Englishwoman Who'd think it not too infra dig. To be seen with (and treat it as human) A sweet--pet--fat--white--pig?
There is no need to copy our Cousins, A visit or two to the Zoo Will convince you there must be some dozens Of animal pets that would do, With a "grizzly" perched up in your motor, Just think how the people would stare, Saying, "Is that a man in a coat or A big--grey--tame--he--bear?"
Think how chic it would look in the paper (Society's Doings, we'll say), "Mrs. So-and-so drove with her tapir, And daughter (the tapir's) to-day. Mrs. Thingummy too and her sister Drove out for an hour and a half, And beside them (the image of Mr.) A dear--wee--pink--pet--calf!"
Illustration:
"Did you get his number?"
"No; but I saw exactly what she was wearing and how much she paid for the things!"

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Mr. Punch Awheel 19Mr. Punch Awheel 21
Sources & credits: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mr. Punch Awheel (Anonymous) (author lived 1871–1949). Public Domain. Anonymous, Mr. Punch Awheel; public domain in the US; text from Project Gutenberg #29022. Source

Literature · Humor

Mr. Punch Awheel 21

AnonymousEnglish