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Literature · Humor

Mr. Punch Afloat 30The Channel Barometer

18

Literature · Humor

Mr. Punch Afloat 30

The Channel Barometer

AnonymousEnglish
Very fair.--Really delightful. Nothing could be pleasanter. Sunshine. Ozone. Does everyone a world of good. Would not miss such a passage for worlds.
Fair.--Yes; it is decidedly an improvement upon a railway carriage. Room to move about. I don't in the least mind the eighty odd minutes. If cold, you can put on a wrap, and there you are.
Change.--Always thought there was something to be said in favour of the Channel Tunnel. Of course, one likes to be patriotic, but the movement in a choppy sea is the reverse of invigorating.
Wind.--There should be a notice when a bad passage is expected. It's all very well to describe this as "moderate," but that doesn't prevent the beastly waves from running mountains high.
Stormy.--It is simply disgraceful. Would not have come if I had known. Too depressed to say anything. Where is the steward?
Gale.--Why--was--I--ever--born?
EUPHEMISM
Man in Boat. "Come along, old chap, and let's pull up to Marlow."
Man on Shore. "I think I'll get you to excuse me, old man. I don't like sculling--it--er--hurts the back of my head so!"]
A CRISIS
His Better and Stouter Half. "Oh, Charley, if we're upset, you mean to say you expect me to get into this?"
[Horror-stricken husband has no answer ready.
]

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Mr. Punch Afloat 29Mr. Punch Afloat 31
Sources & credits: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mr. Punch Afloat (Anonymous) (author lived 1871–1949). Public Domain. Anonymous, Mr. Punch Afloat; public domain in the US; text from Project Gutenberg #40320. Source

Literature · Humor

Mr. Punch Afloat 31

AnonymousEnglish