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Mr. Punch Afloat 20No. IV.--to Mary

18

Literature · Humor

Mr. Punch Afloat 20

No. IV.--to Mary

AnonymousEnglish
Afloat, ashore, ahead, astern, With winds propitious or contrary. (I do not spin an idle yarn.) No--no, belay! I love thee, Mary. Amidships--on the Bentinck shrouds, Athwart the hawse, astride the mizen, Watching at night the fleecy clouds, Your Harry wishes you were his'n.
Then let us heave the nuptial lead, In Hymen's port our anchors weighing; Thy face shall be the figure-head Our ship shall always be displaying. But when old age shall bid us luff, Our honest tack will never vary, But I'll continue Harry Bluff, And thou my little light-built Mary.
CUMULATIVE!
Tourist (on Scotch steamer). "I say, steward, how do you expect anybody to dry their hands on this towel? It's as wet as if it had been dipped in the sea!"
Steward. "Aweel--depped or no depped, there's a hundred fouk hae used the toowl, and ye're the furrst that's grummelt!"]
The Margate excursion boat arrives at 2.30 P.M., after a rather boisterous passage.
Ticket Collector (without any feeling). "Ticket, sir! Thankye, sir! Boat returns at 3!"

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Mr. Punch Afloat 19Mr. Punch Afloat 21
Sources & credits: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mr. Punch Afloat (Anonymous) (author lived 1871–1949). Public Domain. Anonymous, Mr. Punch Afloat; public domain in the US; text from Project Gutenberg #40320. Source

Literature · Humor

Mr. Punch Afloat 21

AnonymousEnglish