A Book of Burlesques 81 – Mencken · Library Across
Literature · Humor
A Book of Burlesques 81The Clergyman
18
Literature · Humor
A Book of Burlesques 81
The Clergyman
MenckenEnglish
(In sonorous, booming tones, somewhat muffled by his respirator.) Dearly beloved, we are gathered here together in the face of this company to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony, which is commended by God to be honorable among men, and therefore is not to be entered into inadvisedly or carelessly, or without due surgical precautions, but reverently, cleanly, sterilely, soberly, scientifically, and with the nearest practicable approach to bacteriological purity. Into this laudable and non-infectious state these two persons present come now to be joined and quarantined. If any man can show just cause, either clinically or microscopically, why they may not be safely sutured together, let him now come forward with his charts, slides and cultures, or else hereafter forever hold his peace.
(Several spectators shuffle their feet, and an old maid giggles, but no one comes forward.)
